I'm drive I can fine osifer
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
