I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
