Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
