worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
