I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I puked a lego.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
