I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
