fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
