wake up i wanna do it froggy style
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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