dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
