Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
