Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
