i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
