I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Can I color on your dick again?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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