Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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