I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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