So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
it's like iHOP with fire
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
