is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
