How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You made out with two different species that night
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Let's get the cat blown out
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
