Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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