i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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