Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
