Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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