Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
