It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
