Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
