Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize