kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
