Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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