What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
