ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
