Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
