So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
