I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
