Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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