Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize