At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize