wat bout pragnant strippers??
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
