I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
