I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
