Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
