i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
