So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
