He is an equal opportunity slut.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
