Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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