This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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