So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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