No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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