I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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