I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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