I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
