I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
