He uses pillows to masturbate.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
