i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize