She said her name was "party"
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
