My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
