Christians are straight up FREAKS
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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