then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
