Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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