my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
