just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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