there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
