So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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