and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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