just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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