Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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