If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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