But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
