Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
