Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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