Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
